Plantation Bay Resort - Don't Panic

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DON'T PANIC!
A Hitchhiker's Guide to Plantation Bay

Whether you're here for just a few days or an extended holiday, you'll never run out of fascinating and unique things to do. SO DON'T PANIC.

Learn to Scuba Dive in the safety of our lagoon, then venture out to the open water. Did you know that, of about 700 species of coral worldwide, some 500 are found in the Philippines?

(Neither did we, but the UN assures us it's true.)

Read our Building Signage.
The names used around Plantation Bay are based on the theme "exotic places in fact and fiction", and follow a strict alphabetical order counter-clockwise around thr resort. Our sings are not only informative, but amusing. We think. (And if you'd like to stretch your mental muscles a bit, take the NameGame Quiz afterwards and win a cheap prize. Call you butler.)

Do the Plantation Bay Duo-decathlon, an athletic challenge that includes swimming, rowing, biking, climbing, and kissing a cranky parrot or a pretty Guest Service Officer, whichever is available. (Call Sports and Recreation. Free. Good Luck getting the Guest Service Officer.)

In Hongkong or Manhattan you fo bar-hopping. Here in the Visayan Sea, go Island Hopping. In few places in the world are there so many islands so close to each other, or such diverse marine life. Lunch or snacks included. (Dive Shop.)

Para Sail. Glide in your own parachute high above Mactan (8 minutes in the air and 20 minutes getting seasick.) It's safe, sort of, says the concessionaire, though not in writing. (Galapagos Wharf; please reserve.)

Eat Breakfast. We've got one of the nicest buffet spreads in all Asia, and the selection charges daily. Try at least one of these: the ansolute best croissant in existence; scrumptious Eggs Benedict with crab and shrimps; dwarf pineapple (the best tasting pineapple in the world, and you can even eat the pith); a Creole quiche that franky isn't much to look at, but melts ihn your mouth; Mexican Churros, which if you don't know what they are, you owe it your self to find it out; a pretty darn good siomai and honey cured barbeque pork; and lot's og other dishes that your stomach will sit up and take notice of. And the following day, we recommend that you eat breakfast again. And so on.

Wall-Climb. If you did this on a cruise ship, the cruise would cosr you plenty. Here it's free, and we have safety harnesses for all sizes from 5 - year olds and up

Visit a World Heritage Bird Sanctuary.
Across the strait in front is the Island of Olango, a major stopover in the world's most heavily-traveled migration route (by number of birds), between Siberia and Indonesia. Wheter you will actually any birds is anyones guess, but it's not a bad way to kill an hour.

Jump off our dive rock by the main swimming pool. It's amazing how terrifying 1.5 meters of air looks when there's 4 more meters of crystal clear-water below it. One guy who did this neglected to consider that he couldn't swim; exactly what he was thinking, we're not sure, but it was a tense 10 seconds before we dragged him out sputtering, and we do hope you won't try this unless you're a competent swimmer.

Watch a vintage movie. We've got a small but carefully chosen selection of landmark movies, which we'll air for you with compliments. The movie list is in your Hotel Services Binder, and includes sappy love-stories like An Affair to Remember, rip-roaring adventures like Journey to the center of the earth (James Mason-Pat Boone version), and Steamt "unrated" fluff like The Story of 0. (Call our operator. Adult Stuff only after 10PM)

Savor the Most Delicious Steak on Earth.
Chicago and Kansas City may have first crack at the best cuts, but we try herder. Our US rib-eye is marinated two days in our proprietary house blend of Midwestern and internatinal seasonings, then grilled over a real live flame. The results are sublime. Only at Savannah Grill. Not cheap, but remember, you only go around once.

Buy a Timex Watch. Just about all the Timex watches sold anywhere in the world are made in Mactan. You owe it to the local economy to buy one while you're here.

Squeeze off a few rounds at the Firing Range, which offers every imaginable class of firearm from a MIAI Armalite, Galil 5.56 rifle to a Colt 45 (vintage 1911). Or about a WWI-era US M-1 carbine, a 9mm Glock 19, or a Benelli semi-auto shotgun? The ammo is shockingly overpriced, but what the heck.

Linger Over a Pasta Whose Memory You Will Keep Forever in Your Heart. No visit to Plantation Bay is complete without spaghetti ai gamberi or other pasta from Palermo, the Italian restaurant which we modestly callk the best in Asia

Test Your Courage In Our Giant Water-Slides. Every bit as thrilling as a ride you'd wait an hour for at Disneyland. Our two slides feature twists, turns and dips, and no sissy protective stuff like sleds, just bare flesh. One slide is fast. The other is faster. You have been warned.

Appreciate Art. In our lobby are two oversized works commisioned by the Hotel from the foremost contemporary Filipino Painter, Romulo Galeciano (who by the way is from Cebu). The one behind the cashiers captures our very own Nile Hall at Dusk. The other depicts a storm-tossed coast in the Batanes, the islands at the northernmost tip of the country; and the Chinese inscription above it wishes blessings on all who enter the lobby, or some such thing, according to our feng shui master.

	Pamper Yourself at Mogambo Springs, the Spa at Plantation Bay. Our therapies range from plain-vanilla shiatsu to more esoteric Filipino Hilot-Style treatments. Relax in hot, thalassic, and cold water pools while waiting. Possibly there are three of four better spas elsewhere in the world, but not at such moderate and unassuming prices. Usually not boring within the day, but after 4PM, advanced reservations are a must.

Have romance (or More Basic Urges) on Your Mind? SO DON'T PANIC.

Spa Treatments a Deux are available at the aforementioned Mogambo Springs, which by the way is a delightful mini-environment with an 18th-century Japanese village theme.

Check Out the Secret Cave in the Main Freshwater Swimming Pool. There are actually several cave-like areas, but only one secret cave. And if you can't find it, try one of the bubble pools. Either way, you and yours can spend as much time as you like billing and cooing, with varying degrees of privacy. Don't forget to come up for air, because our lifeguards cannot see into these nooks.

Dine at the Lover's Rock by Fiji Restaurant. This is a coral outcrop overlooking the sea, which for ballpark purposes you can think of as 2 million years old. Imagine what this rock has seen over the eons, and how insignificant and fleeting human lives are by comparison. And a million years from now, this rock will still be here (probably under 100 feet of water, what with global warming.) The thought makes you spine shiver. Make prior arrangements with Fiji staff, and dine with candlelight under the stars. It's a good way to start an evening of seduction, we can assure you.

Looking for something a little less salubrious? Sing Your Heart Out (without bothering anyone). The private karaoke rooms are in the basement below Savannah Lounge. Drinks and Snacks are ordered by phone, smoking is permitted, the sofas are reasonably comfortable, and the doors lock - if you get our drift.

Propose Marriage. Lots of gentlemen - and some ladies - drag the significant other to Plantation Bay in hopes of springing - or getting sprung - the Question. Here are the best Spots: The volcano-looking island in the Lagoon near Dune House; The end og Galapagos Wharf (at night, and tell the security to get lost); the dessert island in the lagoon by Havana House; the rooftop of Leblon Hall, especially at sunset; dangling your feet in the water from the coffee shop island-annex, especially when the flame tree is bloom (in spring); and the triangular gazebo on Xanadu Beach.

May we also suggest the Elevated Pools below Mogambo Falls. Beside Leblon Hall are the stairs going up to these hideaways, where it's more or less up to you what to do and how much time to take doing it. the roar of the waterfalls masks almost all vagrant noises, and the fine mist is - shall we say - invigorating. Just don't get caught.

If you're not making headway in the romantic department, maybe you need an extra boost: Change Rooms. We recommend the Water's Edge room (ground floors in Bahamas, Chenonceaux, and Dune Houses, all touching the water), the Riverboat Suite (feel rich), Tahiti 1 to 5 (shaded and secluded-feeling), Under - Tree 1 or 5 (charming terraces), and Nile 30-33 (the two flights of stairs are a disincentive to leaving the room; take it from there)

	Candy is dandy, said the cynic, but liqour is quicker: nothing does it Like Champaigne. Our wine list isn't exactly going to put Taillevent to shame, but we've got a nice selection of champaignes and sparkling wines, including Dom Perignon, Moet et Chandon, and (our favorite in terms of quality for the price) Veuve Clicquot Brut orange label.

Got babies or Young Children? DON'T PANIC.

If you need to make baby formula or noil bottles, please call your butler. Prefer liquid milk? We can provide it to you by the liter-carton at a reasonable price

Should you need baby-sister for up to 30 minutes, one of our butlers will be happy to help. No charge, no tipping. For longer periods, there is a charge. Advance notice is needed for baby-sitting requests.

Plantation Bay is a pretty safe place, and no child has ever suffered much worse than a cut food or an upset a stomach here. (It's the adults we worry about; they're much more likely to get into trouble, doing silly things like checking how soft the sand is if you jump from the second floor. So curb your impulses . And by the way the sand is hard) Still, please be responsible for the safety and comportment of your children.

Which brings up the question of drinking water. The water from your bathroom tap is not portable; please use our complimentary bottled water for making coffee or brushing your teeth, and boil it if making baby formula by yourself.

This is a tropical country and if you and your family have sensitive stomachs, please: avoid eating shellfish (there's nothing wrong with Plantation Bay's shellfish, but your stomach may not be attuned to it); don't let any restaurants in Cebu except those in other major hotels or commercial centers ; don't let your children drink pool or lagoon water, and watch where they hands and mouths

And after these sober words, DON'T PANIC. Plantation Bay has lots and lots of activities for FAMILIES.

Our main freshwater swimming pool (center of the hotel) has loads of amusing water features - water-slides, rain caves, whirlpools, bubble pools, elevated wading pool. And it's big enough (the largest in the Philippines) that even when the Hotel is at full occupancy, you're unlikely to feel cramped.

Build a Sandcastle at our beachfront or indeed anywhere you find sand (meaning just about everywhere). Pails and such may be borrowed at the Dive Shop on Galapagos Beach.

Savanah Grill is a favorite with families. It has hot dogs, burgers, barbeque on a stick, pinakurat vinegar (if you don'y know what this is, better educate your palate, though admittedly not all children will go for it) chile con carne, soup, french fries, onion rings, plus a comforting "upscale McDonald's" decor.



	For older children in need of a break from the heat, try the Gym and Game Room in front of Yucatan House. It features pool ("billiards" to Filipinos), air-hockey, Foosball, board games, computer games, and a beat-up pinball machine.

Outside the gameroom is our Bicycle Station, where you may borrow a bicycle for one hour at no charge. There's a model for eberyone, from tots to grown-ups.

After soaking in our main swimming pool, go on to to the smaller but equally stunning Savannah Pool, which is coller and shallower, offers a thundering waterfall mist cave, an erupting water volcano, rain-makers, bubble-bed and bubble benches, and deep shade of parents.

There is a Children's Menu at the Coffee Shop, and the buffet breakfast always a has cereal, pastries, and dishes suitable for younger guests. (Tip at Breakfast Time: Children who took only modest amounts of food are free; and even if Junior really waded in, you're supposed to be charged only half price. Check your bill).

A nice way to park your children for several minutes or hours is at the basement Children's Center (below Savannah Grill). The are dolls, activity centers, videos, books, and blocks.The Winnie the Pooh Wall is really nive and was painted by our own staff; come see. T-shirt painting and face-painting are also available.

Go Fish. Near Xanadu Lodge (lagoon-side), we have a fishing pond stocked with garoupa. Get equipment and bait from the main swimming pool. There are so many fish in it that catching one is pretty much a sure thing. If you throw the fish back in (having carefully removed the barb), there's no charge. But if you relly want to see a smile on your children's face, ask our staff to have it cooked for your next meal, a la facon du pacheur, meaning any way you like (whereupon we will cheerfully charge you what the market will bear, or more.)

	Or feed the Fish. In the next-over coral pond are tropical fishes of every description, including orange clownfish, yellow-tall coris, striped boarfish, etc., and some bangus (milkfish) that have been here since the hotel was built. They are silver, big, and mean! At appointed hours of the day, stale bread is thrown in, and the water boils with frantically feeding fish.

It's a little scary to look at, actually, but DON'T PANIC. Non of the fish eat humans. We hope.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD of PLANTATION BAY.

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